Updated 2nd February 2014
Hello and thanks for reading. As you probably guessed, I have Social Anxiety Disorder (also known as Social Phobia ). It is an apparently common mental disorder but not really known about by most people. It can make life hard in a lot of ways and part of the reason I have decided to collect my thoughts and organise them into this social anxiety blog, originally to try and see how much I could improve as time goes on and maybe encourage others who have the same problem to do something about it. This didn’t last long, however and it is now mainly a place to vent and express my thoughts and feelings that I have no other place to talk about.
The first few posts are collected from a social anxiety social networking site where I originally wrote them in late 2007 to 2008. I decided to put them all together here and keep a journal of my dealings with SA from now on.
If you want to know a bit about me.. I’m in my mid twenties and live in the UK. I’ve had SA since I was 12 or 13 but only sought treatment for it in late 2007. I’ve always been extremely shy, there is a vast difference between shyness and social anxiety.
My life has been hugely affected by my social anxieties and depression which I also suffer from. It forced me to leave university the first time I attempted to get a degree when I was 19 and I floated around unemployed at various times, completed a college course and worked at a job which I hated with every fibre of my being. In 2008 I returned to university and I finally graduated in 2012. This was not an easy undertaking and I lost an entire year because of my mental problems (hence it taking me a year longer than usual to complete it).
In August 2009 everything came to a point where I couldn’t bear things any longer and I made a serious attempt to take my own life. I had to spend quite a long time in hospital as a result of this and it took months for me to feel like I was myself again. Fortunately the suicidal feelings are not as overwhelming as they were back then.
Recently I have not updated this blog as much I would have liked, it is often too much of a mental strain to commit my thoughts to writing, but I’m going to try and post more frequently from now on.