I recently found out what apartment I’ll be staying in at university and through facebook, one of the people I’ll be sharing a kitchen with. Already I have started feeling hugely inferior and worthless. Just a quick glance at her page, full of pictures of her with friends on nights out, was enough to start me off feeling worthless. I can’t help but think what a huge let down it must be to discover that I am your new room mate. Even on my profile page I sound tremendously boring, I only have one photo of myself with another person. My interests are dull, I only have pity friends. It’s strange, the thing that makes me feel worst of all is how disappointing I will be to the other people I live with. I feel sorry for them for getting stuck with the freakish looking loner.
It’s only 2 weeks now until I move in there, I don’t know if I can do it. I tried to make myself forget about the bad things, but I just can’t put out of my mind how much of a huge step this is going to be. I haven’t even put much thought into how hard the work itself is going to be. I’ll have some time in the house on my own over the next couple of weeks since my mum will be back at work; I don’t know whether there will be anything to stop me this time if I decide to take the other way out.
The Social Phobic 
hey Nick sorry to hear ur not having a good day today. i really hope u dont do anything in the next few weeks.
i know ur having some issues with university (amongst others), but im sure it wont be as bad as u think. please try to focus on the positives … was the apartment nice? was the area nice?
im gonna say this and i hope it helps …. u shouldnt feel inferior to anyone. because no matter what there will always be someone who has something over u … ALWAYS! thats why comparing urself to ppl never works. maybe instead of thinking about what ur roommate may be ‘losing’, you can try to focus on what u can learn from her … like interacting with new ppl, etc.
remember … you have already won the game. you took the biggest first step and decided to go to university even with all ur fears. u’ve even gone and seen ur new home (i think u should count these as positives and list them on ur positivity page) . u’ve done really well so far … and thats great!! … you should be proud of urself. im sure uve come a far way, so be proud of urself and ur achievements. please try to use this accomplishment as encouragement to move forward. u’ve done great so far, im sure u can make it to moving day.
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college was hard on me at first – a bit lonely, but then I realized that I would get a fresh start there – nobody would know my siblings or my parents or what kind of family or town I came from. I would be able to be the person that I wanted to be and that was really refreshing.
You are not inferior to others – you just tell yourself that you are and therefore in your mind – you are. You are creating your own reality. Others wouldn’t see it that way, but they may sense it after spending some time with you. You’ve got to start thinking more positively – you have to change your brains thinking – CBT. (I haven’t started mine yet, but i have an appt. scheduled.) Please – give yourself a break and get the help you deserve and need. You seem like a very intelligent person.
My psychologist told me that I beat myself up mentally because my brain is now used to (after many years of it) it and it’s more stimulating for my brain to think negative thoughts about myself than positive ones. Supposedly positive thoughts aren’t stimulating enough. CBT is supposed to help retrain the brain and make new pathways for newer, more positive thoughts.
sorry – i’ll get off my soapbox now.
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Heya
Please don’t feel inferior to your new room-mate just because of what she seems like on the internet. People can appear to have many friends and still be very lonely. And university is a good place for you to make friends, it’s a new and big step for everyone entering university. Please give it a chance and see how it goes.University, as is said above, is a fresh start where no-one, or at least very few people, know you.
Try to focus on positives – and yes I know that can be really difficult, I’m quite good at the negative thought paths myself.
University can seem very scary but give it a chance, why not you know. Are you at least excited about your course?
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Hi again,
I just wanted to add another positive to the list. Just because this person does go out and stuff, it doesn’t mean that she won’t be a nice person. 🙂 And she’ll make an effort to get to know you (probably) because she will be terrified of not having any friends at uni.
Also, while there is a sort of grim satisfaction in telling yourself how awful and terrible you are (At least there is to me..), it won’t do you any good.It can be hard to think of positive things to tell yourself, but what I do is decide on a few small positive things and work up from there. (As in ‘well at least I have nice eyes’, ‘at least my smile is genuine’, or ‘at least I’m good at learning’)
I’m sure you can manage, and I repeat my previous hope that you find some good friends. 🙂
Mina
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